QA or Developer: “Works as designed”.
Tester: “So what you are saying is that it was designed not to work?”
Zoe: So I recently started dating a developer. It’s been an ordeal. (Laughs) I mean, he’s really nice. Like, really nice. The job, though, demands a different kind of relationship – it’s a work environment, you know?
Adam: Hahahaha, she’s great. When she gets angry, there’s a little pink spot that comes off on her nose! Like Rudolph the Raindeer, hahahhahah-
Zoe: He’s pretty damn annoying sometimes. But again, that’s the job. Otherwise he’s just a goofy, funny guy you know? He’s supposed to be this whiz developer, but sheesh – the amount of bugs I’ve found at times – don’t tell him I told you that, hehehe.
Adam: Bugs? What bugs?
Zoe: This one time, we had this app which was like a ‘chess buddy’ club kind of app – don’t ask, clients can make a business out of everything. Huh? The app? Oh, it was just an app for people who wanted to like, find a chess buddy in their vicinity – location based stuff. (Rolls eyes) I mean, who even plays chess anymore? You can do it online! Anyway…clients exist to be served, so I ain’t complaining…
Adam: Yeah man, I loved the idea of that app! I love chess. Always wished I could find some talented players near me, y’know? That way, it’s a great learning opportunity, you don’t quite get that stuff on the computer.
Zoe: So anyway, I’m handed the code, and for some reason, the app’s hooking in only these old women – we tried being on it, quite a few of us in the office and it wouldn’t detect anyone interested! Then once Adam’s grandma comes to office and we made her try it on, for fun. And bazinga! She was available to play! Turns out…
Adam: So I wanted to prank her, and I set the age parameter high – like a filter, you know?
Zoe: And I found the damned age parameter! Hah! He acted like it was intentional – but I know better.
Adam: She’s thinks I messed up. (Laughs, Rolls eyes) Whatever.
Zoe: He definitely messed up. (Nods solemnly)
Adam: And then I was like,
Zoe: He was like,
“It’s not a bug, it’s a feature!”
Adam laughs loudly: “Gets them every time!”
Zoe (unimpressed): I’ve heard that joke too many times for it to be funny, you developer scum…
Adam: (Cautious) Look, look at her nose, there’s that pink spot – (Folds his hands) You know I’m not messing any further, she can get wild.
Zoe: Very good, you’re learning. (Smug smile)
Adam: Once, I even claimed that there was a ghost in her machine cause I didn’t want to think about that painful glitching bug in this paranormal facts app. It was pretty solid, given the theme and all that. Turns out I’d not thought of making sure the bug shows on other devices…she tested the hell out of it to prove it wasn’t a ghost. We had to stay till late…so I paid the price anyway. (Shrugs)
Zoe: He’s really stupid sometimes! (Laughs) Doesn’t realise that making my job harder is going to be a problem for HIM. Ugh, for all his talents, he can be pretty dumb.
Adam: I have, like a list of excuses that have stumped testers for years –
Zoe: And none of them have ever worked on me. (Rolls her eyes)
Adam: So she keeps making me want to find new stuff, you know?
Zoe: I’ve heard it all…
Adam: “Works for me, why not for you?”
Zoe: “Everything is as designed.”
Adam: “The “end user” would NEVER do that” (dramatically)
Zoe: “You need to think outside the box…”
Adam: (stern voice) “Ahem, it works the same in production…”
Zoe: “I have bigger fish to fry!”
Adam: “It’s a waste of our testing time.” (Imitates her)
Zoe (matter of factly): Test is test, Test is fluid.
Adam: “You can find out for yourself.”
Zoe (imitates him): That’s not a bug, that’s a “nice” to have!
Adam: Your computer is too slow, you’re typing too fast!
Zoe (whispers): Don’t allow end users to press the “enter” key
Adam: You need a new keyboard.
Zoe: He told me once, “You shouldn’t test using wifi” – can you believe this guy?
Adam: You are not typing Ctrl + ‘c’ correctly – okay, I got hit for that one, seriously…
The Product is King
Adam: After all that back and forth in the office.
Zoe: All you really want to do is just unwind.
Adam: Walk out the door with her, and something changes.
Zoe: He’s still a bloody developer, and I’m still a bloody tester –
Adam: But all that’s just the job.
Zoe: It’s what we love doing.
Adam: But we also love each other’s company.
Zoe: So I guess you just shrug and…
Adam: Let it go, take her hand –
Zoe: Go catch a movie, or get some dinner
Adam: Love weekends with her-
Zoe: And when Monday comes,
Adam: Just put on your clothes and go back to the chaos you love!
After all, the product is king – if developers and testers need to squabble to get it just right, then that’s nature’s law – you can’t question it, it’s a part of life and love!
So guys, Adam and Zoe are pretty psyched to be working together, even if it is just as a developer and a tester.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all you oddballs out there, we hope that all your working relationships turn out for the better – if a developer and tester can hit it off, then well – anything is possible, really!February 13, 2017